Zoe goes to the doctor

Zoe had her 2 month check up on Dec. 26. Perhaps being weighed, prodded, and receiving a series of vaccinations was not exactly her most welcome gift. She has grown almost 2 inches and now weighs in at 13lbs 7oz. She is in the 97th percentile for weight and the 88th percentile for height. Basically I have given birth to a wannabe sumo wrestler. I suspected she was aiming for the 100th percentile after her 2 week appointment and it looks like she is well on her way!






Zozo was also due for 4 vaccinations. I hadn't seen her first vaccination since they took her way in the hospital and did it behind closed doors. The needles were surprisingly long and all the injections were into the thigh muscle. It is probably equally traumatizing for the parents to watch four needles being plunged in quick succession into the fat little baby thighs of one's child. Zozo squeezed her eyes shut and started howling after the first injection. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and she became so upset that she actually made no sound. Silent baby screams are somehow worse than regular baby screams. I picked her up after her ordeal and she began nursing like a fiend - the baby equivalent of a stiff drink after a horrible day.

Zoe casts a spell

Zozo is back to her sweet self after a good nights sleep. I guess being woken up every hour to meet new people is not conducive to a happy baby. She seems to revel in the attention though. Here is Keith falling under her spell-a definite zombie snail in the making.


Nor was my father immune to her charms. He repeatedly told me that he "does not do diapers" and that after 4 children that's more than enough. Well Zoe had something to say about that.


The irresistible baby has cast her spell again. We are all just putty in her little hands, including my curmudgeony father, brother, and sister.





Max has given up all pretense of being the boss. He is now just a comfy bed for his daughter.

Invasion of the Clan

My father (Jon), stepmom (Sue), sister (Amy), and brother (Little Jon) arrived today from upstate NY. They were all a little worse for wear after getting up at 4am to catch a 5:45am flight, but I couldn't wait to introduce them to Zoe, the newest addition to the family (and the cutest by far). I drove out to Sue's sister's house where they are all staying. Upon arrival, Zoe promptly began crying and was cranky after being passed around from one family member to the next. She then descended into a nursing frenzy and demanded to be fed every half hour. As usual, she went through one change of clothes and 5 diapers (over the course of a 3 hour visit). Zoe also took a liking to her uncle, Little Jon. She whined and cried when anyone else held her, but was quite content to sit on Jon's lap, stare at him, and, well, not cry (she does have a rather limited repertoire and I equate "not cry" with blissful contentment in baby sentiment).

5am December 14, 2007

Zoe has finally recovered her equilibrium from the trip to Alta. After three nights of short cap naps, stubborn daytime sleeping, and general crankiness, she slept 7 hours straight. I was woken by Max's alarm, convinced something was terribly wrong. I rushed/stumbled down the stairs and into her room to discover a sleepy and content little Zoe just starting to wake up. After lavish kisses and praise as to what a wonderful, super smart (everything is relative and for new parents a baby that can sleep for more than 3 hours at a time is "super smart") little baby she was, I started the daily routine of changings and feedings.

I hoped this was the start of a routine, but alas it was not to be. She was back to 3 hour sleep cycles the next night, but tonight she was up to 6 hours. I think she likes to keep me on my toes. She's so cute and cuddly though I don't really care. Newborns must ooze pheremones or agonists of some sort that affect a special receptor in the brains of their parents, bending us effortlessly to their will. Maybe little babies are more like mind controlling parasites, now that I think of it, more similar to the "zombie snail" phenomenon.

It really is impossible to resist Zoe, especially when she's all dressed up. Surprisingly, I was never one to play dress up with dolls as a child. Here is Zoe in her new kimono which we received as a gift from Japan.



Zozo crying since she doesn't actually like playing dress up.





Zozo after being bribed with milk-much happier in her kimono now!

Going to Alta

We have decided that Zozo is ready to visit the cabin up in Alta. Max had some crazy idea about getting "an early start." With Zozo an early start is either 4am or 10am, but he promised me that I could sleep in the car and that he would do all the driving so I agreed. I carefully packed 3 changes of clothes and 15 clean diapers for our day trip. Even Zozo shouldn't be capable of going through that many in a 12 hour period. (Her record is 3 changes of clothes and 9 diapers in 12hours). Well, Zoe did her 4:30am feeding and I managed to doze off for about an hour before getting up at 7am to feed and dress the little imp as well as myself. We were on the road by 8am, so not too shabby with the new baby!

After a breakfast in Auburn at Awful Annie's (they have the best waffles around, so I was quite insistent that we go there), we arrived at the cabin. At this point I was beginning to realize some of the challenges of going up to the mountains in winter to an unheated cabin with no electricity or running water with a little baby. The ground was frozen hard with a crust of ice and the inside of the cabin was not appreciably warmer. Zoe was not terribly impressed with having her diaper changed under such conditions. Here she is inside the cabin with only her little nose peeking out in the frigid air.



Hiking around didn't work out that well, although Gail and I managed to make it into town with Zoe where we discovered the Alta deli/cafe. We stayed until closing time (3pm) and reveled in the electric heaters and easy access to a flush toilet. After that it was back to the cabin, which by now had warmer up due to Kenji's obsessive stoking of the wood burning stove.


Max had been sawing things with his newest toy- a 50cc Stihl chainsaw- for the past 3 hours and showed off his handiwork of new cut trails, piles of small saplings, and 2 potential Christmas tress for Berkeley.




A few hours later we headed back to Berkeley leaving Gail and Kenji to spend the night up at the cabin. Max had pumped up some water from the steam to fill the hot tub, so they had at least a little comfort that night. Zozo was rocked asleep for the next 3 hours in the car and we arrived uneventfully back in Berkeley, having decided to spend the night there since it was closer than our own apartment in Oakland. I told Max to open up the house while I undid all the car seat restraints and brought Zoe down. By the time I had freed the little imp from her car seat the burglar alarm was shrieking full force, attracting the attention of neighbors and passerbys. I ran downstairs with Zoe to find Max wandering around the hallway unable to remember the code for the alarm. Using my few remaining brain cells I dredged up my mnemonic for the code and finally got the alarm off. I went back up to the car and told the small crowd (well 3 people anyway) that had gathered that everything was under control. I met the new neighbors across the street who seemed very nice (at least the hadn't called the police on us).

All the driving had been very relaxing for Zoe and other than her diaper changes she had basically remained asleep the entire day. By 10pm she was completely awake, her eyes glowing with an alertness and vivacity particular to little babies during the middle of the night.

Point Reyes

We decided to take a "road trip" with Zoe today. A road trip with a baby is really a day trip within a 2 hour drive of the apartment. New additions to the family require a paradigm shift and a bit of flexibility and compromise. Max realized that the Cowgirl Creamery was within the requisite 2 hour radius so we decided on a visit there and some hiking on the nearby bluffs of Point Reyes. Since we knew it would be cold, we bundled the little one up in a teddy bear snuggly. Little Zozo is incredibly cute as these pictures will attest, especially when she's asleep.

The Cowgirl creamery was in a kind of picturesque yuppie minimall with a handmade clothing store. We sampled a few of the cheeses which were good, although we had been so spoiled by France and true artisan cheeses made in small stone farm houses that we were a bit disappointed in the U.S. version. They did have some locally made ice cream that was worthy of a sampling as well.





Little Zozo slept during our visit to the creamery and managed to stay asleep during our entire hike along the cold windy bluffs. On our way back we saw a herd of el, and I remembered the ominous sign at the trailhead of "elk rutting season, do not approach." While elk are known for being docile, I pictured us being trampled by the herd. We walked by quickly and I kept a watchful eye on them while Max lagged behind so he could get some pictures (his Japanese blood demanding pictures and overcoming any fear of rutting elk).

C-section recovery

C-sections are rather horrible, but for a really big baby probably preferable to a vaginal birth. The birth pictures of Zoe in the previous post illustrate the futility of her coming out the natural way. Notice the coned top of her head which I am happy to say has recovered to a nice rounded shape. (Having a big headed husband comes with its drawbacks; at least he's smart which is some consolation.)




The first few days after a c-section are the worst with the incision closed only by staples. The whole concept of small bits of metal holding my lower abdomen together was rather disconcerting and only added to my fear of moving the wrong way, opening my incision, and have various internal organs fall out. Apparently this is a rather common feeling, which was somewhat heartening, and I couldn't find any references to women actually having their organs fall out, so that was even more heartening.

The first few weeks were difficult since my body felt very unstable and alien. I have no idea what happened to my ab muscles or where they went. My stomach was like a flabby bag of fluid, fat, and skin loosely and tenuously attached to the rest of me. Quick movements would leave this jiggly mass to follow at its own sluggish pace as it puddled under the effects of gravity. Rather depressing overall, but after 6 weeks I am happy to report that things have greatly improved and maybe someday soon I will actually be able to wear my non-maternity pants again.

The beginning

I decided to start this blog from Zoe's birth and will be filling in the past month and a half as I have time. With a voracious little imp ruling my life, spare time can be hard to find.

Zoe's birth was what could be called a good learning experience. What I have learned from 3 days of labor with an epidural put in only for the last 6 hours followed by an emergency C-section?

1) natural child birth is highly over rated
2) labor and delivery are very very painful
3) drugs are good

Right from the start things didn't go as I had envisioned. During my first call to the hospital on Tuesday morning I was informed that they were full and I would need to go somewhere else. Max and I had toured this hospital, looked at the newly renovated labor and delivery rooms, visited the maternity ward, and memorized exactly where to go depending on whether it was after hours or during the day. So after a panicky call to Max's mom, her subsequent call to the hospital, the admitting nurse called me back to say that if I could hold off for awhile a room might free up. I ended up waiting all day and went into triage that evening. I was only 2 cm so they sent me home. I did get a morphine shot as consolation though!

Wednesday arrived and my contractions were stronger (i.e. extremely painful). I waited until the evening to go back to triage. 3.5 cm and 90% effaced, so things were moving along, just at a glacial pace. I figured 1.5 cm every 24 hours, so another 5 days and I would be ready to deliver. I was sent home with another morphine shot, but this time it didn't seem to have any effect. I couldn't lie down and sat in my glider chair and dozed off only to jerk awake every 5 minutes from the pain of a new contraction. By 3am Thursday we were back in triage, 6cm and I was admitted!

My labor and delivery nurse was new. I could tell as she looked at my veins for the IV. Each vein was stroked and examined with the intensity usually reserved for putting an IV into junkies and the obese. After the doctor remarking about what great veins I had, she took the plunge and managed to get the IV in. A new nurse for childbirth is not a good thing! Luckily there was a shift change that morning and a new nurse came in (who was very experienced this time), wondering why there was so much tape around my IV.

After 6 hours of extremely painful contractions, I was checked again only to be told I was still 6cm. I did not understand what all that pain was for since apparently nothing had happened. (I expressed this sentiment to Max and he tried to calm me down a bit since I was near tears at that point). The doctor broke my water at about 9am, convinced that would get things going. They had told us at the child birth preparation class that when your water breaks it's just a trickle, nothing like "in the movies." For me it was just like in the movies, a hot gush onto the floor dousing my socks with more water coming out every time I shifted my weight. Poor little Zoe had lost her cushion and was finally descending. I quickly got to 9cm and by now the contractions had changed. Dilation contractions hurt, but pushing contractions sweep you up in a wracking agony with your whole body screaming "PUSH." But I was told not to push since I wasn't at 10cm. I was hit with pitocin to get the last bit of cervix dilated, causing faster even more painful contractions. I was exhausted now and the idea of hours more of this was too much. I wanted the epidural but the nurse had seen my birthing plan and told me to keep trying a little longer because she wanted me to have a natural birth as I had written in my birthing plan. I cursed my "birthing plan" and the child birth preparation classes and their focus on natural, i.e. extremely painful, childbirth. The nurse left the room for a minute and I looked Max in the eye, grabbed his arm in a death grip to reinforce my point, and told him he had to get me an epidural. 20 minutes later an anesthesiologist and a trainee arrived and they inserted the epidural. Within minutes the pain was gone. It was after 3pm by now and I had been pushing for over 5 hours. The nurse checked the baby and she was still at +1, so absolutely no progress. I couldn't push any harder and "vacuum extraction" was being bandied about. Zoe was getting as tired as I was. She was in distress and her heartbeat was slowing. Within minutes I was wheeled into the surgical suite for an emergency C-section. The C-section was fast, within 10minutes Zoe was out. A nurse brought her over to me so I could see her as they repacked my organs and sewed me up. Zoe was wet and angry looking, a fat little frowning Buddha. She was cleaned and swaddled as I was being wheeled into recovery. The nurse brought the baby to me to nurse for a minute before I was brought to the maternity ward. Even after all the drugs and a long and traumatic birth, she latched on, a harbinger of her seemingly limitless appetite.

So that is the story of little Zoe's birth, what I can remember of it.

Now I will show pictures of my beautiful "little" baby (8lbs 12 oz).

My first post